new year's eve

link sana link sini... cakap tak serupa bikin daa

aha.. so rakyat-rakyat malaysia overseas ni, ingatlah pesan PM kite.. tukar cara sambutan tahun baru tu ye.. toksah dok terhuhah-huhah kesan kemari... mari kite berdoa beramai-ramai moga dijauhkan dari malapetaka... ameen

bye dave (this is dave; David Krane at my workplace not the other dave), we'll miss u a lot.. and thanks for all your hard work =)

cakap tak serupa bikin

liza ialah seorang yg sangat dihormati dan disayangi rakan-rakannya dek kesopanan dan manis wajahnya. Dia juga seorang pelajar yang pintar disekolahnya. Linda, rakan baiknya pun sama cuma dia kurang menyerlah dalam pelajarannya. Walaubagaimanapun mereka bersahabat baik dan saling tolong menolong dalam banyak perkara.
"Liza, petang ni jadi kita ke perpustakaan?" tanya Linda. Mereka berdua memang banyak menghabiskan masa bersama di pusat ilmu. Maklumlah peperiksaan SPM makin dekat.
"ermm... ermm... aku tak boleh hadir petang ni. Aku ada hal dirumah." balas Liza.
"ada apa-apa tak elok dah jadi ke?" tanya Linda risau.
"eh... tak ada lah! ermm... ermm... adik aku, adik aku tak ada orang nak jaga petang ni. Parents aku nak keluar!" balas Liza.
"ooo... tak apalah. Kalau kau nak aku salinkan apa-apa nota tambahan beritahulah ye." Linda menepuk belakang Liza.
"hmm.. nak salinkan nota??? aku dah salinlah! kau jer yang lambat!" bentak Liza didalam hati.

petang itu,
"awak nampak cantik hari ni..." tegur Amir lembut. Rupa-rupanya Liza pergi berjumpa dengan Amir di perpustakaan awam. Sudah 3 minggu mereka berkenalan. Memang tak dapat dinafikan ketampanan Amir, tambah lagi dia juga seorang atlit disekolah.
"terima kasih... awak pun apa kurangnya." balas Liza. Amir yang mengajak Liza berjumpa di perpustakaan awam kerana bimbang hubungan mereka akan diketahui umum. Mereka tahu peraturan sekolah yang ketat itu dan mereka berdua pula adalah idol disekolah. Pasti perhubungan mereka tidak disenangi banyak pihak.
Rancangan mereka untuk belajar bersama petang itu lebih banyak diselangi dengan sembang kosong. Masing-masing puas hati dapat berjumpa.
"buat apa aku nak risau, aku budak pandai..." kata Liza didalam hati

Sejak itu, Liza selalu menolak ajakan Linda untuk ke perpustakaan. Walaupun Linda berasa kurang senang tetapi didiamkan sahaja kerana dia tahu rakan baiknya itu tahu menjaga dirinya. Dia mencari khidmat guru tuisyen dan mengajak rakan-rakan sekelas untuk belajar bersama.
"Linda, mana Liza. Dia tak ikut kita semua belajar sekali?" tanya Ruhani. Masing-masing berpandangan. Betul juga kata Ruhani. Linda dan Liza memang tak dapat dipisahkan dari dulu lagi, semua orang sedia maklum.
"Dia sibuk dirumah katanya. Mungkin ada hal keluarga" balas Linda.
"ermm.. kalau aku beritahu, kau jangan marah ya.." celah Alia
"apadia?" Linda ingin tahu
"ermm.. ermm... aku rasa Liza bukan ada hal dirumah. tapi... tapi... dia pergi belajar dengan Amir, atlit sekolah kita tu.." Alia teragak-agak untuk bercerita.
terbeliak mata Linda mendengar cerita itu. Tak mungkin Liza menipu dirinya. Mereka berkawan sejak kecil lagi. Kenapa mesti Liza merahsiakn perkara itu darinya.
"maafkan aku Linda kalau aku buat kau sedih. Mungkin aku tak patut ceritakan hal ni pada kau.." Alia bersedih
"eh tak apa.. sudahlah, asalkan dia belajar itu sudah cukup pada aku. Jom kita mula ulangkaji..." Linda senyum hambar. Dia terpaksa melupakan pedih dihati. peperiksaan SPM makin dekat, dia mesti belajar bersungguh-sungguh.

Peperiksaan SPM bermula hari ini. Linda memulakan langkah dari rumah dengan tenang dan doa. Dia bersalam dengan kedua orang tuanya sebelum bertolak. Begitu juga Liza. dia sangat yakin akan persediaannya untuk menghadapi peperiksaan ini. Kertas demi kertas mereka lalui dengan tenang. Alhamdulillah minggu genting itu berakhir dengan jayanya.

Beberapa bulan kemudian keputusan SPM diumumkan. Liza datang kesekolah dengan Amir manakala Linda datang dengan rakan-rakan sekelas yang lain.
"Alhamdulillah..." Linda melihat keputusannya. Semua rakan-rakan memeluk dan mengucapkan tahniah kepadanya. Linda dinobatkan sebagai pelajar terbaik seluruh daerah tempat tinggal mereka.
"Liza, keputusan kau bagaimana?" Linda bertanya
"aku... aku... dapat ini.." Liza menunjukkan slip keputusannya kepada Linda.
"Alhamdulillah... tahniah Liza tahniah.." Linda memeluk sahabat baiknya itu.
"tahniah? apa yang aku dapat tak sehebat apa yang kau dapat.. kau perli aku ya?" balas Liza sedikit lantang.
"janganlah begitu Liza. Keputusan kau itu juga cemerlang.." Linda memujuk.
Liza masih tidak berpuas hati. Ditepis tangan Linda yang memegang bahunya dan beralih menuju ke arah Amir.

"Maafkan saya Liza, saya mahu bersendiri sekarang..." Amir meminta diri
"dan jangan cari saya lagi..." sambung Amir
Liza tersentak. Kenapa Amir berubah laku. Apa salahnya sekarang? Adakah kerana keputusannya yang kurang berjaya itu? Adakah dia punca keputusan Amir juga teruk? Liza jadi buntu...

nikmat tuhan

assalamualeikum wbt

I just set my msn messenger to "appear offline" this few days.. who is this person?no matter how hard I tried to block him, he just keep coming back...
working full time this break, 10:30am - I'm exhausted... heh...
jeles jugak tgk org pegi bercuti but this is what I chose to do and I am happy doing it =) alhamdulillah... susah-susah dahulu, senang-senang kemudian insyaAllah...

benci

assalamualeikum wbt

By right this is my blog so I can write anything I want, I mean anything, can I?
well.. I just want to express a little bit how I feel at present:

saye sangat geram/marah/sakit hati/hilang kepercayaan sebab semua yg saye cerite/semua yg berlaku pada diri saye yg boleh disaksikan diceritekan/direport kepada orang lain.. grr.... how much did u got paid for doing so??? what do you gain from such a pity story/news/event...grrrr....
sudah beberapa hari saye menahan rase ini, I feel like I don't want to look/talk/think/imagine/describe you EVER again but I sort of have to you know...
"bertelur sebiji tapi riuh sekampung" tp bukan ayam yg riuhkan, itik yg riuhkan.. grrrr.....
nak duduk dalam gua la... grrr....

My sisters and I

My sisters and I

I believe in the messenger of God, Muhammad
Sent from the one true God, Allah
If He did not exist in essence
Then the heavens and the worlds
We would not see them

What part of me does my mother look at?
My palms
What part of me does my father look at?
My female organ
What part of me does my husband look at?
My belly
What part of me does my child look at?
My breasts
What part of me does a woman look at?
My head

I am not attached to my mother
I am not attached to my father
I am not attached to my husband
I am not attached to my child
I am with those who quake the world with their soft hands
I am one of God’s children
My siblings are my sisters

I am not afraid of my sister
For a sister does not stab a sister from behind
I am not afraid of the Dodo
For he is better than a bad sister
But I am afraid of the world
For the world kills us all

Who will stop them?
Someone is beating one of us
Century after century, no end to this
That’s life you say
Are you telling me?

Nights and days I couldn’t sleep
I couldn’t stop what my daughters left
We ought to give them the foundation
To become strong
For when they are married
They don’t just sit in the entrance hut
They don’t hanker after buying spitted meat
But they will walk side by side with their husband

Education, for us at all time
If we seek it we may escape
She who has no education will have no position in life
Thus my friend
Education is the thy to hold to

Whatever you wish to do, go and do it
For by God, we all support you
We are certain that your thoughts are with the people from Daura
Because you remember what happen to the ill-fated one

My sisters let us not be deceived
The world has set people out in front
Let us be in the eyes of the world
We may have no beard on our cheeks
But in our heart we carry a sword
My sisters let us not be deceived

However sweet kolanut gets in the mouth
It disappears after moments of chewing
I will stop here, until next time
Peace be upon you all

It is not at all my business if u don't understand the above piece
I wrote it and I received good grade for it.. alhamdulillah...
to biskut, nobody look for the trash they already threw in the bin..
to the trash, be strong! u've been threw away but it doesn't mean u're a waste
u'll be recycled and reused =)
take care everyone!
good luck with finals!!!!

reunion

assalamualeikum wbt

the semester is almost over; mine particularly will end on Dec 20th insyaAllah...
I met Christine yesterday after so many months, she's doing great I would say Alhamdulillah...
Tonight, the MISA-Sisters will organize a free makan-makan @ Sukothai huhuhu.. datang la jangan tak datang plak kanak-kanak madison yang cun!
atem is getting married today (while I'm writing this entry maybe...) congrats my friend!

'Allahualam...

komp sakit!!!

assalamualeikum wbt

Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah): they love them as they should love Allah, but those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah. If only the unrighteous could see, behold, they would see the Punishment: that to Allah belongs all power, and Allah will strongly enforce the Punishment. [2:165]

merenung bulan

Terleka aku melihat kemesraan
Mereka berpasang-pasangan
Bersenda keriangan
Bertanya aku pada diri sendiri
Mengapa kutersisih
Diulit mimpi sedih

Haruskah aku membandingkan
Nasib diri dan tuah orang
Haruskah aku melupakan
Segala kurniaan

Entah mengapa mataku ini
Halaman orang nampak berseri
Laman sendiri berwarna warni
Tak bererti
Terlalu asyik memandang bintang
Merenung bulan tinggi di awan
Bumi dipijak
Rumput yang hijau kulupakan

Entah mengapa sering terlupa
Rahmat yang tiba berbeza-beza
Untuk semua kurniaan Nya tak terhinggga
Janganlah asyik memandang bintang
Merenung bulan tinggi di awan
Bumi dipijak rumput yang hijau
Dilupakan

exam on Monday & Wednesday

let it go!

assalamualeikum wbt

and off they go.... =(
I think Ijan woke me up this morning because the pillow that I put against the door wasn't where it's suppose to be
They must be having fun! so jealous =(
I could not sleep in here, my hidung tersumbat tak ingat
susah juge jd anak sulung ni ye...

Berkorban Apa Saja
================


Berkorban apa saja
Harta atau pun nyawa
Itulah kasih mesra
Sejati dan mulia

Kepentingan sendiri
Tidak diingini
Bahagia kekasih
Saja yang diharapi

Berkorban apa saja
Harta atau pun nyawa
Itulah kasih mesra
Sejati dan mulia
hmm... hmm... hmm...

Untuk menjadi bukti
Kasih yang sejati
Itulah tandanya
Jika mahu diuji

Berkorban apa saja
Harta atau pun nyawa
Itulah kasih mesra
Sejati dan mulia

demam

assalamualeikum wbt

pernah tak hati tersentuh?
pernah tak rase tersinggung?
pernah tak perasaan terguris?
kenapa ye?

went to Kak Sah's house earlier and ate a lot of food =)
I haven't feeling well since yesterday and I think it's getting worse =(
dunno if I should go to Chicago tomorrow, I'm on the fence
Lots of rest, that's what I need!!!!
If I go tomorrow, I'll be having fun but days coming will be unbearable
plus I have to score on my exam this Monday =(
but I want to be with my friends, and it's our final year here...
and I have lots of ordered stuff to buy
mom said don't go,I want to go...

Ya Allah! kurniakanlah aku kesihatan yang sempurna Ya Allah!
Ya Allah! selamatkanlah aku didunia dan diakhirat Ya Allah!
Ya Allah! selamatkanlah kaum keluargaku, rakan-rakanku dan semua umat Islam Ya Allah!

party! party! party!

assalamualeikum wbt

last night was nice, masyaAllah...
the msa gurls organized Eid party last nite and I went to it... met many new faces such as Amber II, Zaynab II, Uzma, Aisyah and Zakia'... they all chatted in Arabic huhuhu..
The food was fine, I particularly had fun with yasmin's 4 years old son Ibrahim -- we played together until the party was over =) he punched me on the face... ouch! I fed his 9 months old sister too =)
They have a very spacious house! I like it.. Alhamdulillah...
We played taboo hihihi...

cakap tak serupa bikin

assalamualeikum wbt

went to steep & brew yesterday to celebrate eser's birthday along with Elif =)Eser's 28 yesterday! May Allah give you good life ameen...
Anybody happens to read this blog today and is now in Madison -- u guys should come to DI Eid & Thanksgiving event today @ Red Gym.. of course there'll be FREE food!!!! come come come

Elif Ozalp

assalamualeikum wbt

Went for iftar with Elif and another Turkish lady whom I have very hard time trying to remember what her name was (but it's a beautiful name ehe...)
Elif gave me a long denim jacket and 2 very beautiful head scarfs from Turkey. I like the jacket =) Thanks Elif!
She also showed a pic of the Turkish guy who's searching for A wife =) he's cute, so if anyone's intrested just let me know ok? he's well-educated and I would say friendly hehe... oh oh he does not care wherever u came from since he's not planning to settle in Turkey ;-) aha... another advantange!
To all Muslim in Madison: Kabul serves halal lamb meat u know - so u can eat lamb kebab or any other amb menu they have ;-) interesting huh!? I thought they'd already stop serving halal meat but I was wrong.... Thanks to the Kabul owner for explaining!!!!

[Al-Qadr : 1-5]

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

[1] We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power:
[2] And what will explain to thee what the Night of Power is?
[3] The Night of Power is better than a thousand months.
[4] Therein come down the angels and the Spirit by Allah's permission, on every errand:
[5] Peace!... This until the rise of Morn!

ramadhan kareem

assalamualeikum wbt

I've been very busy lately: all sick two weeks before, midterms, grading exams and etc.
astaghfirullah...
insyaAllah i know my priority still...
what's "optionality" ?
today is Nov 6th, 2004 - My friend passed away around this time last year... Al Fatihah...

penyakit ego

assalamualeikum wbt

who's worst? the one who did not go for iftar and/or terawih at masjid or the one who kept talking about other people not going to masjid for iftar and/or terawih? ahaaaa...

"Ramadan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur-an, as a guide to mankind, also Clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put you to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful." [Al-Baqarah:185]

but

"For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward." [Al-Ahzaab:35]

for me:

h/work Math 521 (2)
Essay 3 African 306 (4)
Prob Set Ling 101 (2)
Excercise #12 African 306 (3)
Project African 306 (5)
take home midterm Math 461 (1)

My mission in life

assalamualeikum wbt

Instead of living in hopes and fantasies, it is better that you (we) limit your mission and your (our) hopes in this life, write them with your (our) hand and hang the paper in front of your (our) office desk so that you (we) read it and return to it often.

• I will strive seeking the pleasure of Allah first and foremost
• I will remember sincerity at all times
• I will memorize the Book of Allah in full
• I will increase my knowledge of the Shari`ah
• I will focus upon refinement of the heart and its cure
• I will develop my physical strength
• I will develop my emotional strength
• I will go to the masjid shortly before the Call to Prayer
• I will give charity every day
• I will seek reward from Allah for expenditures on my family
• I will seek reward from Allah for all my actions
• I will achieve my success at home first
• I will not bargain and compromise with my Deen
• I will consult others
• I will defend those who are absent
• I will listen to both sides before passing a judgment
• I will imagine myself to be in the position of the person I am talking to, so I can feel and share his feelings.
• I will not take revenge for my own sake
• I will not get angry for my own sake
• I will not see for myself a right over others
• I will always be positive and constructive
• I will plan and write down my work for tomorrow
• I will listen twice as much as I speak
• I will desire success for others
• I will beware of errors and benefit from them when I fall in them
• I will strive to be orderly and well-organized as a person and in my work
• I will be joyful, humorous and smiling
• I will concentrate all my abilities and efforts on the task in my hands
• I will develop my skills
• I will maintain priorities in all my duties
• I will not take responsibility for what I am not responsible for, and I will not squander what I am responsible for
• I will not blame the situation
• I will focus on what concerns me and concentrate on my circle of influence
  My language: I will try, I will make effort, I will learn, it is not impossible, there is nothing to stop me (if Allah wills)
• I know that what befalls me could not have missed me and what missed me could not have befallen me; I will take my soul to account and be open with it; I view that retracting from error is from one's self-confidence and will work on correcting my errors
• I do not imagine that anyone is safe from harms of others, so I will save my energy and time from busying with others and their talks (when it doesn't benefit me), and their talk will not matter to me except what is beneficial or what deals with correction of shortcomings.

music

listen to this, this, this and this =)
Enjoy! who's the drummer again!? hehe..

nanana 'ganu kite...

assalamualeikum wbt

So, Bukit Aman's peep called and informed my family that we're moving to Terengganu pretty soon.
Some old couple wanted to buy my house in Jerantut, hmm...
Mak said that she would love to be my niece's guardian since my sister is pregnant with her second child... dunno la, I do think that she'll agree hmm...
Pat is back!!!! welcome back Pat!

aarrgghhhh....

assalamualeikum wbt

[Al-Hajj:46]
Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and minds) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear? Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their breasts

[Al-Fatiha:1-7]

[1] Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[2] Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang Memelihara dan Mentadbirkan sekalian alam.
[3] Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[4] Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari akhirat).
[5] Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.
[6] Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.
[7] Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.




hahahha.... I just thought this image is cute and good-- 2 naughty boys with one cute girl ;-)
grrr..... kewl kib, kewl! grrrr......

idiot in love

assalamualeikum wbt

excerpts from Young Money and me!

Young Money wrote: spend your money wisely
I said: Spend your money accordingly

Young Money wrote: Give yourself a reward each month
I said: Pay your bills and debts first, then reward yourself

Young Money wrote: It is ok to pay your bills late each month
I said: Pay your bills as soon as you have your money

Young Money wrote: Do your grocery each week, don't do little shopping everyday
I said: I agree occasionally

Young Money isn't always right!

[Al Baqarah: 282 & 283]

My dad masuk hutan dari petang semalam (Malaysia) sebab nak cari orang Siam pencari gaharu yang tersesat kat dalam hutan tu. Ada dalam 10 orang pencari gaharu ni, 1 escaped and buat report kat balai cakap kawan-kawan die dah mati dalam hutan tu tp die tipu rupenye sbb 1 team dah pegi carik and jumpe 2-3 out of 10; yang lain-lain lari sbb takut kena tangkap. So, this time operasi nak mencari yang lebey2 tu la.. takut jugak dengar sebab kapak2 and parang2 diorang tu sangat tajam sampai boley buat cukur misai.. hishhh.... Abah orang semboyan, so die dikehendaki membawa alat perhubungan masa operasi ni, berat jugak alat tu... semalam mak pack makanan abah untuk 2-3 malam siap bawak ikan bilis lagi. Dulu my dad tentera, selalu masuk hutan 2-3 bulan kat sempadan nun... jadi harap-harap semuanya selamat ameen... tolong doakan keselamatan abah saye ye... Moga dilindungiNya amen...

Ulik Mayang versi rock... heh
Mari kita buang sifat dengki-mendengki

pay your debt

BAbe-KRU

Perasan tak muram air muka
Mungkin tidak kerana ku kau dah lupa
Jauh di mata apatah lagi hati
Riuh tetap sunyi bila kau bersendiri

Ubatilah lagu dah tak semerdu
Hembusan bayu dah tak senyaman dulu
Pasti kerana tiada pelengkapnya
Ketiadaanmu dirasa

Jangan sekat janji ku bahagia
Memang berat daku nafikannya
Walau cintamu rapuhDan keyakinan runtuh
Dengar ku bicara

Oh babe… ku masih menyinta
Oh babe… ku masih setia pilu
Lara hiba di jiwa kelabu di kalbu
Oh babe… ku makin terseksa
Oh babe… ku makin terasa haru
Bisikan disebut andainye kau di sisiku
Diriku masih perlukanmu

Sehari dua mungkin bolehku harung
Masuk ketiga melewar ku termenung
Selepas seminggu fikiran bercelaru
Meruap-ruap bimbangku
Di sana sini terpinga tercari-cari
Petanda kau masih menyayangi
Walau cinta kau pudar
Kan ku teruskan jua
Moga ku di jiwa

Luahkan saja semangat
Punca kita tak sehala
Akan ku ubah sikapku
Seperti yang kau mahu
Katakan saja kau pinta
Walaupun hujan ditadah
Agar dibasahi cinta kita yang goyah
Kembalilah…..

heh... intresting! btw, my guestbook isn't working anymore... sorry!
I... I did sth stupid the other day, as usual la kan... I blamed the full moon; it gets me crazy! argghhh... shame on me!

classes are fine except that I still need another one. Hopefully everything will settled before next week.. oh oh it's Saturday already! hmm... insyaAllah...

disturbance

assalamualeikum wbt

peace?no? disturbing public and private toilet, tons of workloads, moving out from memorable apartment, thinking much about unwell boss and etc. peace?no? -- NO

bye

it just not as I thought it would be

assalamualeikum wbt

sad news today -- Pat told me today that she has been diagnosed with endometrial cancer and will need a surgery for cure. The surgery scheduled to be on this coming August 14th. I saw tears in her eyes when she told me and others =( I'm sorry for her, very very sorry. There'll be good outcome, just pray to God...

The little girl, Saffiyah who suffered from deadly disease passed away yesterday after her body could not adapt the transplanted organ from her mom. May she rest in peace...ameen

Things work out well with my moving plans - we'll be moving out stuff next Monday and Lan will be driving the truck and latte and few others will come and help. Thanks everyone. May Allah rewards everyone for all your good deeds... insyaAllah

---------------
Humbleness
---------------

Humbleness is to know the value of oneself, to avoid pride, or disregarding the truth and underestimating people.

Humbleness is that one should humble himself with his companions. Frequently when the spirit of competition and envy is agitated between companions and rivals, a person may feel superior over his companion, he may be pleased by harming him, degrading his value and importance, accusing him of defects or exaggerating his faults. Faults that may have come to light when seeking advice, or correction. In reality this is what is called jealousy. It is amazing that the daa`iya becomes jealous about the gathering of a thousand or two at a meeting of knowledge or da`wah but he will not have any kind of reaction if he heard that twenty of thirty thousand people attended a concert or a sports event. By Allah, this is sad, for even if you were not pleased with your brother about something, it should be sufficient for you that he is calling to Allah ta`ala and teaching people the Deen and is sincere in general. In fact, he may even be correct in some of the things that you criticized him about.

Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Even if you see a sinful person and you are righteous, do not act in arrogance towards him, and thank Allah that He saved you from the tribulation that He put him through. Remember that there might be some riyaa' or vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful concerning his bad deeds, and this may be the cause of forgiveness of his sins.

Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. If you do a good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allah ta`ala through an act of obedience, your deed still may not be accepted, "Allah only accepts from those who have taqwa." (Surat al-Maida: 27) This is why some of the Salaf said, "If I knew that Allah accepted one tasbeeh from me, I would have wished to die right now!"

Humbleness is that, when you are advised, if Shaytaan calls you to reject the advice, you must negate him. Because the purpose of advice is that your brother points out the defects that you have. As for he who Allah ta`ala has protected, if he finds one who will advise him and show him his defects, he'll overcome his nafs, accept from him, thank and make du`aa for him.

The arrogant never gives credit to anybody or mentions good about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention five defects of that person. But if he hears somebody reminding him about his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his inferiority complex. This is why it is among man's moral integrity to accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or feelings of shame and weakness. Here he is, The 'Amir of the Believers `Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, raising the flag and lifting the motto,

"May Allah have mercy on a person who informed us of our defects."

nuthin' much

assalamualeikum wbt

We definitely need more boxes. Ijan and I will be moving out stuff from our badger apartment on August 9th but we will only check out from there on Aug 14th I think because there're still lots of cleaning to do. Our new landlord allows us to get the key earlier than the schedule date which is awesome!!!! If you're around on Aug 9th, please come and help us move, thanks. =)

Some of the macs at work aren't working well. I think they all turn crazy after all the workloads. Hopefully Steve will be able to do sth about it soon or else we'll past the due dates... not good!

I watched the Democratics Convention on TV -- a very strategic way of winning votes by bringing all the people who are related to the candidates and giving excellent testimonials about them. Even Reagan's son came to address the delegates, nice.... =) Go Democrats! (I'm neutral though). It doesn't matter who they are or what they believe in but once they are in power, everything will messed up. All the promise will be forgotten and there'll come new agenda -- making the rich richer and the poor poorer.. 'Allahualam...

cinta beralih arah

Suhaimi menekan-nekan butang nombor ditelefonnya. Selepas mendapat nombor telefon Hafiz dari Iman tadi terus dia mendail nombor itu.
"Assalamualeikum, Hafiz ada?" tanya Suhaimi sopan.
"Maaf tiada orang bernama hafiz disini!" dan ganggang diletakkan. Panas hati Suhaimi 'kalau ya pun aku mengganggu, tak perlulah dihempas telefon tu' bentak hatinya. Tak jadi niatnya hendak bertanya hafiz pelajaran dikelas semalam. Iman pun bermain hoki dengannya semalam. Hafiz sahajalah harapannya untuk tidak ketinggalan dalam kelas. 'Siapa perempuan dalam telefon tadi? Suaranya seperti pernah aku dengar!?' bisik hatinya lagi. Laju sahaja langkahnya kebilik terus dihenyak badannya kekatil bujang dibilik itu. Ingatannya kembali semasa dia bermain hoki menetang Kolej Hang Jebat semalam. Rimas betul dia dengan kehadiran penyokong-penyokong yang terlampau ramai, menjerit-jerit ditepi padang. Bukan apa, Suhaimi risau kalau bola hoki yang keras itu terkena penonton. Kemudian dia teringat pandangan terkunci disatu sudut padang. Dalam ramai-ramai penyokong yang bersorak ada seorang gadis manis bertudung yang diam sahaja. Gadis itupun seperti rimas dengan keadaan sekeliling. 'Kenapa dia berada dipadang semalam' hati Suhaimi bertanya-tanya. Semasa tamat separuh masa pertama, dia sempat menjeling gadis itu, kebetulan gadis itupun sama memandang kearahnya dan mata mereka pun bertemu tapi gadis itu hanya senyum tawar sahaja. Suhaimi yang terkejut dengan reaksi gadis itu terus memalingkan muka kearah lain.
"Mi, ada orang mahu cari dibawah" Tersentak Suhaimi mendengar suara ibunya diluar bilik. Pantas dia bangun dari pembaringan.
"Panjang umur kau Piz, aku baru mahu telefon kau!" bicara Suhaimi apabila melihat Hafiz duduk disofa diruang tamu.
"Itulah. Iman beritahu aku tadi. kau mahu nota dari kelas Puan Chempaka ya? Ini aku bawakan. Ada satu soalan yang puan Chempaka beri semalam yang aku tak dapat jawab. Boleh kau tolong?" Hafiz mengaharap. Serentak Suhaimi mengajak Hafiz kebiliknya, lebih selesa belajar dimeja katanya. Ibu Suhaimi berjanji akan menyediakan air dan sedikit makanan untuk mereka berdua. Hafiz tersenyum sahaja. Setelah menelek-nelek nota dan soalan yang dikatakan Hafiz tadi, Suhaimi mengangguk.
"Oh ini soalan yang Puan Chempaka beri minggu lepas Piz. Kenapa kau tak tanya dari awal?" Suhaimi bersuara. Hafiz berasa bersalah, dia tahu soalan itu hanya diulang sahaja oleh Puan Chempaka tetapi dia terlalu sibuk hingga tak sempat nak mencuba soalan itu betul-betul. Sebab itu dia berharap Suhaimi boleh membantunya.
Hampir 3 jam mereka belajar dibilik Suhaimi. Air dan makanan yang disaji ibu Suhaimi pun sudah licin. Hafiz meminta diri untuk balik. Mereka berjanji akan berjumpa di kelas esok pagi jam 10.

"Cayalah Mi! Padan muka budak-budak kolej Hang Tuah tu. Dulu berlagak sangat menang 1-0 dengan kita. Sekarang! kau balun diorang 5-2. Padan muka!" tempik Alsraf. Dari dulu lagi dia tidak puas hati dengan pelajar senior yang bermain untuk kolej Hang Tuah semalam. Puas hatinya.
"Sudah-sudahlah. Alhamdulillah kita menang. Lain kali belum tahu lagi." Ujar Suhaimi. Suasana dikelas kembali damai apabila Encik Rahmat tiba. Semasa Suhaimi hendak duduk dikerusinya, tiba-tiba matanya terpandang gadis semalam. 'Masih ayu..' katanya perlahan.
"Terpikat ke?" usik Diba. Suhaimi senyum tersipu-sipu. Pelajaran hari itu berjalan seperti biasa tetapi Suhaimi sukar menumpukan perhatian. Fikirannya masih pada gadis ayu yang dijumpainya semalam dan tadi. 'Betulkah dia senior aku?' tanya Suhaimi sendiri. Apabila masuk waktu zuhur Suhaimi mengajak rakan-rakannya solat disurau kampus. Bersesak-sesak manusia hendak mengambil wuduk.
"Patutnya mereka bina masjid untuk semua pelajar kampus ni!" bentak Iman dan yang lain mengangguk. Dalam hati Hafiz berniat akan menyuarakan cadangan Iman dalam mesyuarat badan pelajar minggu hadapan.

Setelah makan malam dan solat berjemaah dengan kedua ibu bapa dan adik-adiknya, Suhaimi meminta diri untuk naik kebilik untuk belajar. Ibu bapa Suhaimi sangat berbangga dengan anak mereka yang sulung ini. Dari sekolah rendah hingga sekarang memang rajin belajar dna keputusan peperiksaannya juga memberangsangkan. Selepas tamat tingkatan lima tahun lepas, Suhaimi ditawarkan belajar diluar negara tapi ditolaknya mentah-mentah. Ibu bapanya tak mampu memaksa, mereka pun sayang hendak berjauhan dengan anak kesayangan mereka ini.
"Ya Allah, kau tetapkanlah hatiku, tenteramkanlah jiwaku dan jauhkanlah aku dari bisikan syaitan..ameen" Suhaimi mengaminkan doa sebelum membuka buku. Alhamdulillah semua yang diajar oleh profesor dikampus tadi diterimanya mudah. Hampir jam 12 tengah malam baru Suhaimi menutup buku kemudia menuju kekatilnya. Setelah diempuk-empukkan bantal terus dia merebahkan kepala. Ingatan gadis ayu datang lagi!

"Iman, kau kenal tak budak permepuan tu?" tanya Suhaimi sambil menunding jarinya kearah gadis ayu itu. Semasa berjalan keluar dari kelas tadi dia asyik memandang gadis itu yang sedang asyik membelek buku dikawasan rehat berdekatan tempat mereka belajar.
"Entah. Ayu sahaja yer. Kalau la semua gadis bertudung sepertinya.." Iman tersenyum
"Cuba kau tanya si Diba tu. Aku pasti dia kenal siapa gadis tu. Budak tu kenal semua orang!" cadang Iman lagi.
"Ah tak nak lah. Bukan kau tak tahu Diba tu, habis riuh sekolej ni nanti. Biarlah! bukan penting pun." tolak Suhaimi.
"jangan menyesal kemudian sudah.." Iman menyambung lagi.

Petang nanti Suhaimi akan bermain hoki menentang pasukan dari kampus lain pula. Hatinya berharap supaya gadis itu datang menyokong lagi. Entah kenapa semenjak pertemuan pertama dahulu, dia jadi tak tenteram kalau tak berjumpa dengan gadis itu. Ada sahaja yang tak kena. Lain pula bila sudah bersua, biarpun dari jauh, Suhaimi sudah tersenyum riang. Iman dan Hafzi pun pelik dengan kelakuan rakan mereka ini tetapi dibiarkan sahaja. Maklumlah lain orang lain caranya.
"Cari buah hati tak jumpa-jumpa ke?" Hafiz memerli. Dari tadi Suhaimi tak henti-henti menoleh kesan sini seperti mencari seseorang. Gadis ayu tak sampai lagi!
"Eh tak adalah. Hendak tahu berapa ramai penonton kali ni. Tak ramai macam tempoh hari. Bagus!" Suhaimi memberi alasan. Hingga tamat permainan gadis itu tidak muncul juga. Mungkin benar kata Diba, gadis itu senior mereka. Tapi dia manis....

Apabila Suhaimi melangkah masuk kekelas, dilihatnya sekumpulan pelajar sedang berkumpul. Diba bukan main lagi bercerita dengan tangannya kesana sini. 'Lucu juga Diba' Suhaimi mengejek.
"Kenapa tu?" tanya Suhaimi kepada Hafiz.
"Semalam ada senior kena tangkap basah dengan Ustaz Sabri ditaman rekreasi." Fahmi yang menjawab.
"Siapa? kesian... " balas Suhaimi. Hatinya yakin gadis ayu itu tak akan terjebak dengan perkara-perkara seperti ini. Dari jauh Diba memandang-mandang kearah kumpulan mereka. Kemudian dia berjalan menghampiri Suhaimi.
"Mi, buah hati kau main kayu tiga! dengan kapten hoki Hang Tuah! kau tak jaga betul-betul ke Mi?" Diba berterus terang dengan nada seloroh. Suhaimi bangun tiba-tiba.
"Apa? Aku tak percaya! Kau jangan bawa cerita Diba. Berdosa!" Suhaimi separuh menengking. Ditolaknya kerusi yang diduduki tadi lalu berjalan keluar kelas. rakan-rakan yang lain terpaku.
'kenapa aku marah? aku tak patut marah! kesian Diba jadi mangsa' fikir Suhaimi. Dia kesurau mengambil wuduk. Kemudian dia duduk berdekatan laci yang menempatkan kitab-kitab suci Al Quran. Diambilnya satu dan dibacanya perlahan. Dia tidak mahu syaitan terus bertapak dihatinya.

"Maafkan aku Diba. Aku tak patut tengking kau semalam. Aku minta maaf" Suhaimi memulakan bicara. Dia duduk berhadapan dengan Diba sambil ditemani Iman dan Hafiz.
"Tak apa aku maafkan. Aku pun salah juga mengacau engkau. maafkan aku juga ya" Diba membalas. Akhirnya mereka senyum kembali.
"Betulkah senior tu kena tangkap basah Diba" Suhaimi menyambung lagi selepas Iman dan Hafiz meninggalkan mereka berdua.
"Itu yang aku dengar. Masa aku lalu dibiliknya semalam, aku lihat dia menangis teresak-esak. Ada la 2-3 orang memujuk...kesian pulak aku melihat" Diba mula bercerita.
"Begitu.. Boleh tolong aku Diba?" Sambung Suhaimi lagi.
"Apadia?" tanya Diba
"Tolong sampaikan surat ini kepada senior tu boleh? katakan dari hamba Allah dan aku pinta sangat-sangat sama kau tolong diamkan perkara ni. Rahsia kita berdua sahaja tau! boleh kan?" Suhaimi menghulur sepucuk surat dari poket seluarnya. Diba menyambut.
"Baiklah Mi. Aku tahu kau budak baik. Aku tak akan aniaya kau. Percayalah dengan aku." Diba pun berlalu dengan surat Suhaimi tadi. Dia sendiri pun kurang pasti kenapa dia menulis surat itu. Isinya berkisar tentang pertemuaan mata mereka dan tentang peristiwa hitam yang menimpa gadis itu. Dia ingin tahu apakah yang sebenarnya telah terjadi.

"Assalamualeikum wbt kak... boleh saya masuk?" Diba meminta izin untuk masuk kebilik seniornya. Bilik itu walaupun kecil tetapi tuannya pandai menghias. Sejuk mata memandang, didinding penuh dengan nota-nota ulangkaji dan doa-doa. Katil bujang ditepi sudut dikemas rapi.
" 'Alaykummussalam wbt.. oh Diba, akak ingatkan siapa tadi. Masuklah..." Nurin menjemput Diba masuk. Disuakan kerusi meminta supaya Diba duduk. Nurin sedang sebuk memasukkan baju-bajunya kedalam beg besar. Sebenarnya dia dan Hakim, ketua pasukan hoki kolej Hang Tuah telah dihukum gantung seminggu akibat kejadian baru-baru ini. Nurin keliru yang amat dengan tingkah Hakim kerana ketika mereka ditangkap basah di taman tempoh hari, Hakim seakan tercengang. Dia seperti tidak tahu kenapa dia berada disitu bersama Nurin pada waktu itu dan ditempat tertutup seperti itu. Nurin pun begitu. Petang sebelumnya kedua-dua mereka menerima nota memberitahu seseorang ingin berjumpa ditaman kerana ada hal mustahak. Nurin ada mengajak Saliya untuk menemaninya tetapi Saliya sakit perut pada malam kejadian dan kebetulan orang lain kepenatan dek mnyorak perlawanan hoki pada petangnya. Maka Nurin pun memberanikan diri untuk pergi ketaman itu seorang diri. Taman itu tidak jauh dari asrama tempat dia tinggal. Apabila dia tiba disana dia melihat hakim sedang berjalan mundar-mandir lalu Nurin pun memberi salam. Belumpun sempat Nurin bertanya lebih lanjut tiba-tiba Ustaz Sabri dan beberapa orang pelajar datang menyerbu mereka berdua. Walapun mereka berdua cuba menerangkan kedudukan sebenar tetapi Ustaz Sabri seperti tidak mahu mendengar malah malam itu juga dia menelefon pengetua kolej dan esoknya terus mereka dihukum gantung.
"Diba ni nak sampaikan pesan saja kak... Ini surat dari Suhaimi" Diba menghulur sepucuk surat kepada Nurin.
"Suhaimi? Suhaimi yang mana Diba? Kenapa dia beri akak surat ni?" Nurin tidak menyambut surat ditangan Diba. Cukuplah dia ditipu sebelum ini, kesusahan sekarangpun belum tentu dapat dihadapinya inikan pula satu lagi yang datang. 'Ya Allah, berat sungguh ujianMu padaku kali ini' bisik Nurin...
"Tak apalah Diba, akak tak mahu surat tu. Diba berilah semula kepada tuannya. Kalau mahu berbicara, minta dia jumpa akak sendiri dan jangan lupa datang beramai-ramai. Akak tak mahu dia dapat susah." Nurin menolak lembut. Kemudian dia meneruskan mengemas baju-bajunya.
"Baiklah kak, akan saya khabarkan. Saya faham keadaan kakak sekarang. Maafkan saya kerana mengganggu yer" balas Diba lalu meminta diri. Nurin mengangguk lemah. Biarlah lelaki yang menghantarnya kecewa sekarang, biarlah dia seorang yang dihukum.

"Maafkan Nurin mak, bukan salah Nurin. Sumpah Nurin tak buat apa-apa dengan budak lelaki tu" Nurin memegang lutut ibunya. Semenjak sampai petang semalam ibunya belum mahu bercakap apatah lagi bertanya khabar dirinya. Kecewa betul ibu tua itu apabila mendengar berita tentang anaknya ditangkap basah dikampus. Tak lama lagi satu taman perumahan akan tahu perbuatan buruk anaknya. Bagaimana dia hendak berdepan dengan mereka.
"Tak apalah Nurin, abah tahu Nurin anak yang baik. Manusia sentiasa membuat salah, yang penting Nurin sentiasalah insaf dan bertaubat. Abah dan mak kau maafkan Nurin. Nak buat macam mana, nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Abah percaya kau dianiaya orang. Sudahlah... jangan bersedih lagi" Abah Nurin memujuk. Dia kenal benar anaknya itu, tak mungkin Nurin berniat hendak memalukan mereka sekeluarga. Mesti ada orang hendak khianat, dulupun disekolah Nurin pernah difitnah mencuri tetapi akhirnya terbongkar juga pencuri sebenar. Mengapa anaknya yang jujur itu diuji begitu.
"Mak tak mahu kau tinggal disini sepanjang kau digantung. Kau pergilah tinggal dirumah nenek kau dikampung!" Ibunya menyuruh.
"Eh awak ni kenapa? Ini rumahnya, biarla dia tinggal disini!" Abah Nurin menyahut. Dia juga faham perangai isterinya itu yang mudah tersentuh. Dulupun semasa Nurin dituduh mencuri, hendak diserahkan Nurin kepada ibu mertuanya dikampung. Dia tak mahu beranakkan pencuri.
"Saya malu bang. Orang ditaman ni akan tahu nanti, mana saya nak letakkan muka saya ni! Kau memang tak habes-habes hendak menyakitkan hati mak Nurin!" sambung ibunya. Nurin terpaku. Sampai hati ibunya menuduh dia begitu sedangkan hukuman itu bukan akibat perbuatannya. Demi menjaga nama baik ibunya Nurin akhirnya setuju untuk tingal dikampung sahaja sepanjang hukuman berlangsung. Abahnya sendiri yang menghantar dia kerumah neneknya. Abahnya memesan supaya dia sentiasa bersabar dan tidak mengambil hati akan kata-kata ibunya itu. Nurin mengiyakan semuanya.

"Hello.. ermm... boleh... boleh saya bercakap dengan Nurin Ayra?" suara lelaki itu seperti kurang pasti.
"Nurin dikampung nak. Boleh pakcik tahu siapa bercakap disana?" Abah Nurin yang menjawab panggilan rupanya.
"ermm.. saya Suhaimi, rakan tempat Nurin belajar. Bagaimana Nurin sekarang pakcik?" Suhaimi semakin yakin berbicara. Niatnya baik hendak bertanya khabar gadis ayu itu jadi tidak perlulah dia takut-taku walaupun mula-mula tadi dia sedikit gugup.
"Alhamdulillah. Pakcik rasa dia sudah tenteram sedikit. Siapalah agaknya yang mengenakan anak pakcik tu. Tak habes-habes ujian buat Nurin" Abah Nurin menggeleng kepala.
"Sabarlah pakcik. Moga-moga ujian begini boleh menghapuskan dosa-dosa kita yang kecil insyaAllah. Kirim salam dari saya buat nurin ya" Suhaimi mengakhiri perbualan mereka. Abah Nurin meletakkan ganggang dan berehat-rehat dikerusi diruang tamu. 'Baik juga budak tadi. Siapa agaknya?' tanya abah Nurin.

"Rin... apa sudah jadi?" tanya Farhan, sepupu Nurin apabila melihat Nurin ada dirumah nenek mereka. Setahunya sekarang bukan musin cuti.
"Aku mahu berehat disini... Kau baru balik dari kerja ya?" Nurin cuba menyembunyikan kesedihannya.
"Kau difitnah lagi ya!? Itulah siapa suruh jadi gadis manis. Mesti orang yang aniaya kau tu dengkin melihat kau dipuja ramai lelaki hehehe..." Farhan mengusik. Nurin menjelir lidahnya dan berlari masuk kedalam bilik. Setelah beberapa hari dirumah neneknya Nurin merasa bosan.
"An, jom kita ke Teluk Chempedak! Dah lama aku tak kesana" Nurin mengajak Farhan. Ditarik-tarik tangan sepupunya itu sehingga hampir terjatuh.
"Ish dia ni macam budak-budak. Ajak kahwin nanti baru tau!" balas Farhan. Niatnya suci....
"Nak pergi ke tak ni?" Nurin merajuk. Farhan memang suka memujuk, manis sungguh rupa Nurin apabila merajuk. setelah beberapa lama mereka pun bertolak ke pantai. Mereka berjalan-jalan menyusuri pantai. Fikiran nurin tenang disitu, farhan juga begitu. Mereka diam membisu.
"An jom balik!" Tiba-tiba Nurin mengajak Farhan balik. Laju sahaja dia berjalan meninggalkan Farhan terpinga-pinga ditepi pantai.
"Nurin, nurin..." Farhan menoleh kearah suara itu. Seorang lelaki sebaya Nurin berlari-lari memanggil nama sepupunya itu.
"Jangan hakim. Jangan jumpa aku disini. Kau mahu kita ditangkap lagi?" Nurin teresak-esak apabila Hakim memaut lengannya meminta dia berhenti.
"Kau tahu kita tak salah. Kenapa kau menyiksa diri kau sendiri?" Hakim seakan memujuk. Tahulah Farhan kenapa Nurin berubah sikap mendadak tadi. Dia memberi salam kepada Hakim dan mereka bersalaman.
"Sudahlah Hakim. Aku tahu kita tak salah tapi orang lain kata kita salah. Kita dikelilingi mereka. orang tuaku sendiri tak mahu percaya kita tidak bersalah. Janganlah kau tambah sedih aku ni. Pergilah kau!" Nurin memalingkan muka dari hakim. Hatinya pedih apabila melihat lelaki itu. Dia tahu bukan salah mereka tetapi ingatannya tidak boleh luput dari peristiwa dia ditangkap malam itu dan kemudian dihalau oleh ibunya.
"Bukan kau seorang yang menanggung malu Rin. Keluarga aku juga, bahkan tunang aku juga. Aku juga sudah kehilangan orang yang aku sayang Nurin. Akma dah putuskan pertunangan kami" mata Hakim merah menerangkan keadaannya. farhan sendiri tak sangka begitu sekali mereka menanggung akibat khianat orang.
"Siapa agaknya yang dengkikan korang berdua ni ya? kejam betul!" Farhan tidak puas hati.
"Entahlah, saya pun tak tahu" hakim membalas.

"Siapa punya hadiah ni?" tanya Nurin apabila melihat ada kotak diatas katinya berbalut cantik. Dia baru sampai dari kampung dihantar abahnya. Kini seminggu sudah habis dan dia boleh menyambung pelajarannya dikampus.
"Semalam si Diba datang. Dia yang letakkan kotak tu disitu." balas Zura, teman sebilik Nurin.
Nurin mencapai kotak itu dan membuka sampul surat diatasnya.

Buat saudari Nurin,
Sudilah kiranya saudari menerima pemberian saya yang tak seberapa ini. Ikhlas dari saya.

Dari jauh,
Suhaimi

Nurin melipat kad kecil tadi. Kotak hadiah itu disimpan elok didalam almari bajunya tidak dibuka. Nurin tidak mahu berbudi dengan orang apatah lagi orang yang tidak dikenalinya. Selepas solat Maghrib Nurin memulakan ulangkaji dengan bantuan Zura. banyak juga pelajaran baru yang perlu dikuasainya. hatinya masih tertanya-tanya siapakah Suhaimi yang memberinya surat dahulu dan hadiah tadi.

"Mi, ada orang panggil diluar!" Diba melambai-lambai tangannya dari jauh. Suhaimi bingkas bangun dna menuju kearah gadis kecil molek itu.
"kak, inilah Suhaimi. Mi, ini kak Nurin" Diba memperkenalkan mereka berdua. Nurin berlagak selamba tetapi Suhaimi basah dengan peluh, mukanya merah. Lidahnya tak dapat menuturkan awalau sepatah perkataan apabila berdepan dengan gadis ayunya itu.
"Adik beri saya hadiah semalam kan? terima kasih ya..." Nurin memulakan bicara. Diba tersengih disebelahnya manakal Suhaimi masih membisu. Mereka bertiga sudahpun mengambil tempat dibangku rehat berdekatan kelas Suhaimi.
"errr... ya saya yang bagi. Bagaimana cuti dikampung?" tanya Suhaimi tergagap-gagap. Wajah Nurin berubah tiba-tiba.
"Mana awak tahu saya bercuti dikampung?" suara Nurin meninggi. Dalam hati dia berkira-kira dari mana lelaki dihadapannya tahu dia bercuti dikampung, bukan dirumah orang tuanya sendiri.
"Maafkan saya, semasa Nurin bercuti tempoh hari saya ada menelefon kerumah tapi orang tua Nurin beritahu saya Nurin dikampung" Suhaimi yakin menjawab. Diba masih berdiam diri disitu. Nurin yang mengajaknya berjumpa Suhaimi sekali. Setelah berbual sekadar yang patut mereka pun bersurai. Suhaimi dan Diba masuk ke kelas semula manakala Nurin terus ke kantin, dari pagi tadi dia belum menjamah apa-apa. Hadiah yang diterimanya semalam menurut Suhaimi hanya sekadar untuk mengucapkan selamat kembali buat dirinya. Setelah mendengar semua itu Nurin setuju untuk menyimpan hadiah tersebut, hatinya berbunga-bunga kerana masih ada orang yang menganggap baik tentang dirinya.

"Diba, Suhaimi jumpa siapa tadi?" bisik Suraya. Dia sibuk memerhati Suhaimi bersembang diluar kelas dengan Nurin dan Diba, hatinya dengki. Suraya juga satu jurusan dengan Suhaimi dan Diba. Dulu dia pernah menyuarakan perasaan hatinya kepada Suhaimi tetapi ditolak baik atas alasan Suhaimi masih muda dan mahu menumpukan kepada pelajaran. Suhaimi mahu mereka menjadi kawan sahaja dan Suraya terpaksa setuju.
"kak Nurin, senior kita tu. Ada hal sedikit.." Diba cuba menyembunyikan perkara sebenar. Dia juga maklum akan perasaan Suraya terhadap Suhaimi kerana gadis itu selalu bercerita kepadanya dan dia sendiri pernah menjadi orang tengah antara mereka.
"Kau tahu apa halnya?" Suraya ingin tahu lebih lanjut.
"Entah lah, aku cuma diminta menemankan kak Nurin sahaja.. yang lain aku tak ambil tahu. Eh, jom kita pergi makan!" Diba menukar tajuk perbualan. Suraya akur dan mengikut Diba ke kantin.

"Iman, aku dah tahu siapa gadis ayu dulu tu. Semalam kami bertemu muka.." Suhaimi senyum bercerita. Iman sikitpun tidak terkejut tetapi lain pula keadaannya untuk hafiz. Dia seperti tidak senang tapi sedaya upaya cuba menyembunyikan perasaannya itu. Dulu semasa dia mula-mula belajar di kampus itu, diapun tertarik dengan kelembutan Nurin. Berpucuk-pucuk surat dihantar kepada gadis itu tetapi Nurin tidak pernah membalas. Sejak itu dia tidak pernah menyukai gadis itu. Baginya perempuan semuanya sama, memilih lelaki kerana rupa dan harta.
"Baguslah Mi tapi jangan pula kau abaikan study kau! exam final dah dekat ni" Iman memberi nasihat. Suhaimi mengangguk, dia sedar akan tanggungjawabnya sebagai pelajar. Didalam hati Suhaimi amat beryukur dapat bertemu dengan rakan-rakan yang baik seperti Iman dan Hafiz. 'Alhamdulillah' Suhaimi berkata didalam hati...

"Nurin pernah berkawan dengan lelaki sebelum ini?" Suhaimi membuka mulut selepas membuat pesanan di restoran makanan segera. Dua hari dia mengajak Nurin keluar makan dengannya baru hari ini gadis itu bersetuju. hati Suhaimu berbunga dapat bersama gadis ayu hatinya.
"Ramai. Kawan-kawan sekelas saya kan ramai lelaki" Nurin mengejek. Dia faham akan soalan Suhaimi tetapi malas hendak menjawab.
"Ahh Nurin sengaja tidak mahu menjawab. Pasti gadis secantik Nurin menjadi pujaan ramai lelaki kan? Syukur Nurin sudi keluar dengan saya dan bukan mereka. Ramailah yang gigit jari diluar sana.. hahaha" Suhaimi mengusik. Air muka Nurin berubah.
"Cukuplah orang berdengki dengan saya. Kalau Suhaimi rasa perhubungan kita boleh membuat orang lain terasa hati, eloklah kita berhenti disini sahaja. Saya tak mahu Suhaimi dapat susah.." ada air mata yang mengalir dipipi Nurin. Suhaimi jadi serba salah.
"Maafkan saya, saya cuma mengusik tapi apa yang saya katakan benar Nurin. Saya rasa sayalah manusia paling bertuah dapat bersama-sama dengan Nurin sekarang ini. Semenjak saya melihat Nurin dipadang dulu, hati saya sentiasa berdebar-debar. mungkin ini yang mereka panggil cinta... saya... saya... errmmm... saya cintakan Nurin.." Suhaimi memandang tepat kearah Nurin.
"Tak mungkin. Suhaimi memandang rupa, belumpun kenal orangnya masakan boleh jatuh cinta?" Nurin membalas.
"Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna didunia ini Nurin. Saya sanggup mengambil risiko jika Nurin bukan seperti yang saya sangkakan. Saya pun banyak kekurangannya, sanggup Nurin bersabar dengan saya?" lembut sahaja suara Suhaimi. Nurin tunduk, lama juga dia begitu.
"Sayapun... saya sukakan awak juga Suhaimi..." Nurin masih menundukkan muka tetapi ada senyuman dibibirnya.
"Sayang malu ya?" usik Suhaimi.

Dunia Suhaimi bertambah ceria. Sering sahaja dia dilihat bersama Nurin belajar di perpustakaan. Kadang-kadang hanya mereka berdua tetapi selalunya Iman ikut serta. Hafiz pula semakin menjauhkan diri, didalam kelaspun dia tidak mahu menegur Suhaimi mahupun Hafiz. Puas diajak bersembang tetapi ada sahaja alasan yang diberikan.
"Mi, apa salah kita?" Iman mengerutkan dahi. Baru tadi dia menegur Hafiz tetapi dibalasnya dengan suara lantang meminta supaya jangan bercakap dengannya lagi. Kecil hati Iman diperlakukan begitu.
"Entahlah man. Puas aku berfikir tapi tak adapun apa-apa seingat aku..." balas Suhaimi. Seketika kemudian Nurin tiba dan mereka bertiga pun berjalan ke kantin.

"Mak tengok anak mak ni gembira saja sejak akhir-akhir ni.." Ibu Suhaimi mengusap-usap kepalanya semasa mereka dimeja makan.
"Tak ada apa mak cuma Mi dah jumpa bakal menantu mak.." mereka sama-sama ketawa. Ibunya tahu dia tidak akan mengabaikan pelajaran walaupun mempunyai kekasih hati.
"Mak, hujung minggu ni Mi bawa Nurin datang kerumah ya?" Sudah lama Suhaimi berhajat demikian tetapi belum ada masa yang sesuai.
"Boleh. Makpun nak jumpa juga bakal menantu mak tu.." balas ibunya. Suhaimi gembira dengan reaksi tersebut. Dia juga amat pasti ayahnya juga akan menyukai Nurin apabila mereka berjumpa dengannya nanti.

"Malulah Mi. Perlukah Nurin kerumah Mi?" Nurin kurang bersetuju dengan cadangan Suhaimi. Masakan dia mahu pergi berjumpa dengan orang tua Suhaimi sedangkan mereka baru sahaja berkawan tiga bulan.
"Rin tak mahu jumpa mak mertua ke? Mak Mi nak sangat tengok bakal menantunya tau!" usik Suhaimi.
"Nakal la Mi ni..." Nurin memalingkan muka tanda merajuk tetapi akhirnya bersetuju juga setelah dipujuk Suhaimi. Suhaimi berjanji untuk menjemput Nurin pada hari Ahad nanti.

"Mi, ayah dapat tahu yang kawan MI si Nurin tu pernah buat perangai tak senonoh. Ayah tak mahu kau berkawan dengannya lagi. Ayah tak mahu anak ayah berperangai rak senonoh juga!" Suara ayahnya sedikit menengking. semasa dipejabat tadi ayah Suhaimi menerima panggilan misteri dari seorang lelaki yang mengaku sebagai kawan Suhaimi dikampus. Lelaki itu menerangkan kepada ayahnya bahawa Nurin bukanlah budak baik seperti yang diceritakan oleh Suhaimi. lelaki itu juga meminta mereka sekeluarga berjaga-jaga dan memberi amaran supaya Suhaimi meninggalkan gadis itu jika mahu terus hidup. Ayahnya terus meminta cuti selepas mendapat panggilan tersebut dan pulang kerumah. Diceritakan peristiwa itu kepada isterinya dan kini kedua-duanya amat susah hati.
"Nurin budak baik ayah. Dia difitnah!" bentak Suhaimi.
"Kau jangan lawan cakap ayah Mi. Jangan jadi anak derhaka! Sudah, jangan kau berkawan dengan budak perempuan tu lagi! faham!?" kali ini suara ayahnya betul-betul meninggi. terkejut Suhaimi dan ibunya. Suhaimi mati akal dengan perlakuan orang tuanya sedangkan sebelum ini ibunya sudah tidak sabar hendak berjumpa dengan gadis ayu tersebut.

Puas Nurin menunggu Suhaimi didepan pagar asrama kolej tadi tetapi bayang Suhaimipun tak nampak. Dihatinya berdoa supaya jangan berlaku perkara yang tidak baik kepada lelaki kesayangannya itu. Setibanya Nurin dibilik setelah hampir sejam menunggu Suhaimi dia ternampak sekeping nota diatas katilnya. Terus dicapai nota itu dengan harapan ianya dari Suhaimi.

Suhaimi hanya mahu mepermain-mainkan kau selama ini. Kau perlu sedar siapa diri kau, perbuatan-perbuatan kau sebelum ini. Kalau sudah kotor tu, sampai bila-bilapun kotor.

Nurin terperanjat dengan isi nota tersebut. Benarkah Suhaimi mempermain-mainkannya selama ini? Kenapa dia tidak datang seperti yang dijanjikan hari ini? Siapa yang menulis nota ini? Dia mengejutkan Zura yangs edang lena dikatil dan bertanyakan pengirim nota tersebut. Zura yang masih terpinga-pinga menggelengkan kepala tidak tahu. Teresak-esak Nurin menangis dikatilnya.
"Kenapa begini nasib aku Zura? Apa salah aku? Kenapa Suhaimi mempermain-mainkan aku?" teriak Nurin. Zura disebelah cuba menenangkan.
"Kita belum tahu siapa pengirim surat ini dan kenapa Suhaimi tidak datang pagi tadi. janganlah kau berburuk sangka Rin... Mungkin ini khianat orang yang berdengki dengan korang berdua..." Zura memujuk lagi. Diapun tidak tahu kenapa kawan sebiliknya itu asyik ditimpa musibah. Satu hari Nurin berendam air mata.

"Iman, kau nampak Suhaimi?" Nurin bertanya kepada rakan baik kekasihnya.
"Mi? tak.. ermmm tak nampak Nurin. Ada apa-apa pesanan untuknya?" Iman menipu dan dia tahu Nurin perasan tapi apalah dayanya. Suhaimi meminta supaya dia berdalih jika Nurin bertanya tentang dirinya. Bila ditanya mengapa Suhaimi hanya berdiam diri. Setelah Nurin menghilang dari pandangan, Suhaimi muncul.
"Kenapa kau buat Nurin begitu? Kesian dia Mi." Iman bertanya.
"Entahlah Man. Tunggulah bila tiba masanya, akan kuceritakan tetapi janganlah kau salah anggap terhadap aku pula Man" Suhaimi merendahkan suara
"Tidak Mi. Aku kenal kau dah lama dan aku tahu budi pekerti kau. Kau mesti ada sebab untuk perbuatanmu tetapi aku mohon kau jangan siksa Nurin sampai begini." Iman menambah. Dia kasihan dengan gadis itu dan dalam masa yang sama dia menghormati keputusan rakan baiknya itu.

"Mi...Mi..." Nurin memanggil-manggil Suhaimi yang sedang berlatih dipadang. Iman mencuit bahu Suhaimi dan menunjuk kearah Nurin. Mahu tidak mahu Suhaimi melangkah kearah gadis itu.
"Kenapa Mi? Kenapa buat Rin macam ni? Apa salah Rin?" mata Nurin bergenang. Suhaimi tidakpun memandang kekasih hatinya itu.
"Jangan cari Mi lagi Nurin. Biarlah sampai disini sahaja.." Suhaimi membalas, kepalanya tunduk memandang rumput ditepi padang itu.
"Tapi kenapa? Apa salah Rin? Dulu Mi sendiri yang yakinkan Rin supaya jangan mendengar cakap orang, kenapa sekarang Mi dah jadi seperti mereka?" Nurin meninggikan suaranya.
"Memang dulu Mi yang bercakap begitu tapi Mi juga tak akan engkar cakap orang tua. Maafkan Mi." Suhaimi berlalu meninggalkan Nurin yang terpinga-pinga. Apakah maksud ayat Suhaimi. Kenapa orang tuanya pula yang terlibat. Nurin bertambah keliru.

Sayangku Nurin,
Aku dah lama mengidamkan kau sayang. Sekarang kita sudah boleh bersama bukan? Lupakanlah Suhaimi! Aku akan tetap menuggumu sayang.
Kekasihmu

Terkejut besar Nurin membaca nota kecil diatas katilnya. Jenis kertas dan tulisannya sama seperti nota yang diterimanya sebelum ini. Siapakah yang menggemarinya hingga sanggup memporak-perandakan hubungannya dengan Suhaimi itu? Nurin menangis sampai tertidor. Dia hanya tersedar apabila mendengar suara Zura mengejutkannya dari tidor. Terus dia beristighfar dan bersolat asar. Malam nanti dia akan keluar makan dengan Farhan. Sepupunya itu kebetulan datang ke situ atas urusan kerja lantas ingin berjumpa dengannya.

"An... lambatnya!" Nurin merungut kerana farhan lambat setengah jam.
"An ambil kawan An tadi. Ini Hafiz" An memperkenalkan rakannya kepada Nurin.
"ermm... awak belajar disini juga kan?" nurin mnyoal lelaki ditenpat duduk hadapan kereta sepupunya itu.
"ya... saya junior saudari. Nurin ya?" lelaki itu menghulur tangan tapi dibiarkan Nurin. Mana mungkin dia bersalam dengan bukan muhrimnya. Lelaki itu malu sendiri.
"Kita makan di restoran kegemaran Rin ya?" Farhan mengajak. Nurin mengangguk sahaja. setelah mengambil tempat direstoran yang dikatakan itu, Farhan terus bercerita tentang keadaan dikampung. Semuanya sihat katanya.
"Saya rasa saya pernah lihat Hafiz sebelum ini, tapi dimana ya?" Nurin memandang kearah Hafiz, lelaki itu serba salah.
"Ermm.. mungkin dipadang hoki dulu. Kolej saya menentang kolej Hang Tuah dulu kan?" Hafiz menjawab.
"Ohh.. mungkin juga" Nurin tersenyum. Ketika sedang makan, Hafiz meminta diri kebilik air maka tinggallah Nurin dan Farhan sahaja dimeja.
"Rin... kalau An cakap sesuatu boleh?" Farhan memegang pergelangan tangan Nurin. Terkejut Nurin dengan perlakuan sepupunya itu. Sebelum ini Farhan tidak pernah seberani begitu. Nurin membiarkan sahaja.
"Apadia?" Nurin menjawab perlahan.
"An ... An rasa.. ermmm... An rasa An sayangkan Rin.." genggaman Farhan makin kemas. Nurin tersentak dan menarik tangannya tapi gagal. Tiba-tiba Nurin berasa tidak senang dengan percakapan mereka.
"Kita kan sepupu An. Janganlah begini, Rin anggap An macam abang Rin sendiri tak lebih tak kurang An..." Nurin berlagak tenang.
"Tapi Rin.... hati An hanya untuk Rin sahaja. An tak dapat lupakan Rin sayang..." Nurin tambah terkejut. Terus dia berdiri dan meminta dihantar pulang. Sepupunya itu dirasakan sudah melampaui batas. Serentak itu Hafiz datang dan mereka pun pulang.
"Percayalah Rin, hati An hanya untuk Rin..." Farhan berbisik semasa Nurin hendak turun dari kereta.

Zura terkejut melihat wajah Nurin pucat lesi, lantas dia bertanya kepada Nurin apakah yang sudah terjadi.
"Berat sungguh kepala aku Zura. Suhaimi membenci aku, surat misteri datang bertalu-talu dan sekarang sepupuku pula menyatakan rasa sayangnya padaku." Nurin menangis dibahu sahabat baiknya itu. Zura cuba menenangkan, sungguh dia kasihan dengan situasi Nurin sekarang.
"Sabarlah Rin... berdoa banyak-banyak.." Zura memujuk.

"Diba, Diba kenal budak bernama Hafiz?" Nurin menyoal Diba. Hatinya asyik mengatakan bahawa ada sesuatu disebalik persahabatan hafiz dan sepupunya Farhan. tak mungkin mereka hanya bersahabat biasa sedangkan Farhan duduk jauh dikampung dan Hafiz satu tempat belajar dengannya.

What was that all about?

assalamualeikum wbt

It's 'ugly shirt day' at work! hahaha...
Steve wears bright dress shirt, Pat with fire shirt but I haven't seen Tom's yet...
I bet his would be really really ugly.. hahaha
me? I wear my white shirt with floral pants... absolutely not being myself today!
but it's fun!

Has any of you fell in your bath tub?
Well, I have! twice THIS WEEK ONLY!
arrgghh... i don't want to have a broken bones =(

entah mengapa sering terlupa
rahmat yang tiba berbeza-beza
Itu semua kurniaanNya...

My work

assalamualeikum wbt

WHile scanning books on 2 macs, I wrote down this piece of work... it's average


Mata siapa tak memandang
Mulut siapa tak bercakap
Manusia tak pernah diam
Berbicara tentang kehidupan

Dimana air mengalir
Disitu kita panggil sungai
Dimana kaki memijak
Disitu kita panggil tanah
Sedihnya tanah tumpah darah sendiri
Hendak dibahagi dengan pendatang

Kita bukan Negara terbuka
Luasnya hanya sekangkang kera
Dimana hendak kita berlindung
Andai pendatang pijak kepala

Jadilah kita orang pelarian
Makan tiada minum apatah lagi
Menagih simpati merata-rata
Akhirnya pupus dimuka bumi
Mahukah kita jadi begitu?

Jangan suka menunding jari
Asalnya diri kita sendiri
Suka mengajak bukan ahli
Menyelesaikan masalah sesama sendiri
Akhirnya tanah sendiri tergadai

Masih belum terlambat
Kita masih boleh berjuang
Menjejak nilai yang hilang
Hendaklah kita mengucap syukur
Dengan pemberian yang maha kuasa
Membenarkan kita menabur bakti diatas tanahNya
Semoga semuanya kemabli seperti sediakala

Another one,

Aku bahagia
Bila bibirmu menyebut namaku
Bila kau bilang kau sayang padaku
Selagi ingatanmu hanya untukku

Aku bahagia
Jika hari mendatang
Adalah milik kita bersama
Jika susah senang
Kita tempuh bersama

Aku bahagia
Menjadi suri dalam hidupmu
Walaupun kita sama disisiNya
Akan kuhormati kau
Raja dihatiku

Yet another one,

Masa berlalu
Tapi kenangan kita
Tetap disini
Bersama aku di benua sepi

Merajukkah dikau
Sampai sanggup kau biarkan aku
Tanpa mengetahui
Apa sebab kau menjauh diri

Tak kusangka
Sekejap saja kemesraan kita
Perkenalan kita
Sekadar satu perhentian

Pernahkah kau terfikir
Untuk bertanya tentangku
Dakah engkau tahu
Bahawa aku tersisih
Penjara rindu
Menggamit seluruh hidupku

Kejam sungguh
Sanggup kau biarkan aku keseorangan
Berteka-teki dengan hatimu
Jika kau benci
Ucapkanlah walau sepatah
Agar kutahu kedudukanku

hahahha.. this last one is quiet sad but that's fine.. it's just sth that came up at no time... =)

Reach home safely

Parcels from me to my family already arrived yesterday... alhamdulillahh... but I feel bad since I couldn't buy a film camera for my dad =( insyaAllah I'll buy one for him next time....

Three children were killed and a woman was severely injured from a car fire somwhere in the US. The fire was set by her boyfriend after some quarreling. The boyfriend was also killed in the fire. Domestic violence here in the US and in Malaysia keep raising although actions are taken to prevent it from happening. What is going on in their mind? It's important to emphasize that women weren't the only victims in many cases, men were too. It's just that there are more organizations that are actively protecting women from violence.

Does one behavior shaped within a household? Which characteristic they absurd and which aren't? Are parents solely responsible for shaping a child behavior? What about media influences? What about peers?

A friend told me she believed that she will become a smoker and wear shirt just like her dad when she was little. Only when she entered high school that she knew it was insane! How big her father influences had been to her huh!? I don't remember what I want to be like when I was a child but I do remember I used to wear hijab just like my mom did. I was laughed at when I came to boarding school and so I changed my style.

An actor in the movie "Gothika" explains that such characteristics usually shaded by other good qualities. Most abusers acted as good citizen in public. This also applies to serial killer, rapist and etc. These abusers are actually losing power and control over thei partner and that's why they acted harsh to stay in power.

Enough for today, All workstations are almost out of spaces. Hopefully it'll be enough for my scanned images. Have a good day!

Assalamualeikum wbt

Hasil dari kebosanan hari Ahad... heh...

Aku kurang mengerti
Apa yang bersarang dihatimu
Adakah kau membenci aku?
Adakah kau iri hati dengan kajayaanku?
Atau wujud orang lain dhatimu?

Perlukah aku jelaskan
Aturan kejadian tuhan yang Maha Berkuasa?
Perlukah kita membeza-bezakan sesama kita
Hanya kerana satu nikmat yang aku perolehi
dan yang mungkin engkau perolehi dalam bentuk yang lain?

Kau mencabar kesabaranku,
kewibawaanku sebagai perempuan
Sekejap kau kata kau suka
Kemudian kau pencilkan diri
Hati mana yang tak terluka
dek perbuatan kau?

Sesungguhnya bukan ahli ilmu dunia yang kucari
Bukan juga mereka yang hanya tahu mendabik dada
Yang mengaku tahu segalanya sedangkan
Semuanya omong-omong kosong semata
Sungguh aku tidak dilahirkan untuk bersama mereka
Tempat ku dihatimu
Itupun kalau kau izinkan
Tapi itu yang aku takutkan
Aku tahu berat untuk kau melepaskan hatimu
Yang pernah terluka oleh seorang dari kaumku

Kisah lama buat apa diungkit-ungkitkan?
Tidakkah kau suka cabaran?
Tidakkah kau mahu menyahut cabaranku
Untuk cuba menerima diri ini
Sepertimana kau menerima kekasihmu dahulu?
Atau aku ini amat rendah tarafnya berbanding dia yang dahulu?

Mengapa aku tetap memburu kau?
Kerana aku tahu keistimewaanmu
Kutahu kau akan jadi manusia berguna kelak
Mampu membimbingku dan membahagiakanku
dengan caramu yang tersendiri

Aku tidak mahu merayu
Aku mahu kau fikir hingga terserlah jawapannya
Betulkah tindakanmu
Menolak aku hanya kerana amanah yang aku pegang
Hanya kerana kelebihan aku yang boleh ditarikNya bila-bila masa sahaja
Atau sememangnya kau membenci aku
Atau ada orang lain dihatimu?

Thank you very much to makcik and family and friends for the lovely cards and gifts. It's a wonderful birthday =)

There're lots of books written by Malaysian writers in the library. I am trying to get a concrete idea of present Malaysian women issues and the library have lots of resources to help me with my work. For example when I made a search for "Malaysian women and education" it came back with 25 pages of lists of journals, magazines and presentations by Malaysian author. I have no idea before that there were tons of organizations in Malaysia that cooperate with International orgs. working for better condition for women in Malaysia.

What makcik wrote in her letter was a big shock to me -- did Along really think as such? How could he? I mean, it isn't an easy job studying here; It's not a privilege you know... We have to work hard to maintain a seat here, Am I far cleverer than you? NO.. I am just lucky to receive such opportunity to study here.. I bet your results at least as just as good as mine here. Be a man! Think positive.. come on!

good bye sweet 21

assalamualeikum wbt

hmm... I'll be 22 tomorrow
I am working on Wetlands Conference Project, scanning Wetlands12 on Mac. Behind me is Bridget working on Artist Books with higher resolution. We are bored and out of sentences... on my other side is Hsuan working on the same project as mine and is also bored, she just used the restroom =)

Is it summer or fall? Alhamdulillah it hasn' t been a very hot summer but the weather get kind of scary, it's like the movie "Day After Tomorrow"... heh
Few weeks before a tornado stroke Madison after decades!!!! I went down to the basement and suddenly the lights went off. I was in shock and the next day at work there's a fire alarm and everyone had to get out of the building. Alhamdulillah nothing bad took place.

How do the moviemakers get ideas for their movies? Do they run surveys and research for materials or it just pop up while they were drinking coffee? It's kind of seasonal too I think for example in the year 2003 - 2004 I observed that there are lots of movies that portray scientific explaination about all the nature disaster that happen around the world. The Core, Day After Tomorrow and few others have the same patterns. On the other hand there're also movies that expose stupidity and government corruption. Are they predicting future events, recalling events that already take place or warning people events that is going to happen very soon? hmm..

The Memorial Library has book written by Al Arqam leader's fourth wife titled "Manisnya Madu". The author is Ustazah Kadijah and I think she's trying to present a positive view of polygamy. She interviewed her husband and presented her own thoughts on the issue very well with quotes from the Quran. She asserted that polygamy is a way for women to reached God in that they will have time for meditating. It is also a system that protect women. She's concern with the number of over age women who are single in Malaysia. I think she organized the contents very well. Men will like the book =)

Alrighty, take care!

totally my fault, I am sorry

Why did I keep messing things up? I ahte myself for that... In the name of God I swear I never meant it to happen =( things just keep getting worst... I am such a bad person.. please forgive me for my flaws... pls don't hate me, it's no fun to has enemy =(

InsyaAllah I'll improve myself and try not to hurt anyone anymore.. pls help me achieved that .. pls... I love you all, YES I am... trust me pls!

Shaz just got on the plane today.. tata Shaz, thanks for all your kindness and friendship...

I am taking Women In Turkish Society class right now, it's fun but sometimes can get me into sleeping in class heh.. I slept almost for an hour today in class... bad me... hopefully I'll do best in this class..

take care everyone, have a good summer..
you know, some words are just hard to say in person : so I would like to say that I'm very sorry for all my faults. May our friendship lasts as long as we live.. ameen...

assalamualeikum wbt

It's few days before final exams, may Allah gives Mercy.. ameen

Did any of you heard about bunch of hikers struck by lightning on top of the hill? It happened in Bentong, Pahang. I guess with the unpredictable weather, one should be more cautious, but if Allah want it to happen, then it will... 'Allahualam..

and also about that 2 years old girl; arwah's parents were held in by police for further investigation.. am hoping it's not them but I wouldn't be suprise if it was... my package put me in trouble this few days... Apparently I have had bad experiences with all global shipping company, named it: Fedex, Airborne, UPS ahaha.. they don't like me! alhamdulillah.. with Eina's help I managed to own my package.. hehe... what a sentence!!! Thank you Eina...

please pray for my success... My Math 567 is giving us all bright hope for better grade when he showed us the curve -- no C/D??? alhamdulillah... ehehe... maybe it's because it's an 'Elementary Number Theory' course so he's giving us some face... heh... I have fun in the class! alhamdulillah....

Wish me luck!

assalamualeikum wbt

ish.. I am very very angry right now! did any of you read the news (in Malaysia) yesterday? A 2 years old died and the polics suspected she was abused. Although the abuser is still unknown but from the witnesses statement it looks like from someone within the family or their maid. Why? Why would you hit a child? what wrong did she do? If you don't want her in the first place, why did you have her? why not give her up to someone who are capable of CARING and LOVING her.

Also news about rape cases -- one was raped by an Indonesian immigrants who work near their house, raped by 'boyfriend' and the most gross one three siblings raped by their grandfather who is 76 years old. WHAT? WHY?

What is wrong? What is wrong with the accuser? What is wrong with the vicitims? Let me tell you, RAPE IS NOT ABOUT SEXUAL PLEASURE, IT"S ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL. Take a look at arwah Huda's case before, the rapist was addicted to drugs, committed robberies and had done many other acts that is againts the law. Another case in Sarawak I believe, that litte was killed after being raped.

Maybe it's time to analyze the education system or/and the individuals socialization in Malaysia. It is very important not to blame the victims because most of the time they are tricked or forced into the it.

Most rapists have experience child abused or being raped themselves before. Some of them commit the crime out of revenge and some just to feel or to own the sense of power in themselves. Putting this evils in jails for several years wouldn't do them any good instead we need to help them psychologically along with the punishment. Teach them about equality and freedom.

Christine is leaving OD tonight =( I'm so sorry things didn't work out well with both of you but I hope you'll work it out before final aight? take care chick...

Biarkan Aku Merindui Mu - Liza Hanim

Dosakah aku menyintaimu
Dan itu bukan kehendakku
Itu juga bukan kemahuanmu
Menodai percintaan ini

Dosakah aku menyintaimu
Setelah engkau dimiliki
Aku gagal memujuk hati ini
Untuk terus melupai dirimu

Izinku berteduh seketika
Merebah rindu pengubat duka
Demi ku menyintaimu
Menyayangi dirimu
Meskipun sekadar dalam mimpi

Pergilah sayang kepadanya
Kerna dia lebih memerlukanmu
Pengorbanan sudah lama jadi milikku
Jangan kau kesali

Aku tidak tahu mengapa harusku
Menyintai dirimu
Mungkinkah kau ada jawapan yang lain
Terangkah padaku
Agar tidak kusesal
Mengharap kasih pada yang berpunya
Agar kita sama merelakan

Salju Kasih Nya - Siti Nurhaliza

Dingin dalam jiwa MU
Disirami salju kasih MU
Ku susuri jalan MU
Walau ranjau berliku

Tenang saat merindu
Takafur ku dihadapan MU
Deraian airmata gugur dalam sujud ku
Betapa agungnya cinta MU

Gelora silam tak bisa tepasam
Namun harapan menggunung di hati
Gelora kasih tak mungkin terluput
Kerana hati ku merantau jauh
Ingin bertemu
Dengan MU oh... kasih...

Rindu mencengkam jiwa
Sebak dada tiada tertahan
Hanya pada MU tuhan ku serah diri ini
Pohon cinta Mu nan suci hakiki...

assalamualeikum wbt

so many events are taking place around campus right now -- I should be alerted and so do all of you! =) Midwest Games is also around the corner, they must be all prepared for this event I'm very sure! Good job guys! Can't wait to see Arra, Awin, Fazly, Aiza, Aernie and other ATU4s performing... it must be fabolous! hehe...

and I'm here with all my packed schedule, though I have no idea what am I doing... apparently we have 2 IPs and 3 computers at home. So, one of us will not be able to stay online while the other two are. It's Charter new policy -- I'm on my way to buy a router to solve this prob.

I love my family, sure I do =) I love my friends too! seriously! never a bit of hatred dotted in my heart on my friends... =) I'm worried about my bro in law and my sister whereabouts -- hope she make enough money to support her daughter. She's selling juices + sodas in front of her house right now ... May Allah makes it easy on you sis... ameen

I'm also worried about how am I behaving around my friends. I have not been taught to socialize very well throughout my growing process, and I know I'm not a very good individual. But I'm hoping people around me could liberated me, pulled me out my cave; helped me learn about good characteristics. I would really love to fit in with everybody, no matter who they are. I made friends with the wrong people sometimes you know -- I had a friend who is a truck driver, he smoke. I also had a friend who only plays pool all day (yep that's all he does). Now, I'm studying here in the States and having good friends around, I hope I could learn to be a good person again. Thanks to those who are always here for me through my good times and bad times.. thanks

An-Nissa:124

assalamualeikum wbt

heh... from now on Syuhada Adnan will be our new Malaysian Student Association (MSA) President. What a conterversy! I don't know the reimbursement thingy became such a big deal! just get in touch with Laura if you want your money, else just SHUT UP! aarrgghhh..... what a waste of time!

otherwise, everything else went well -- I suggested few names for few positions; I was trying to get as many freshmens as possible so that they could learn something early on! I learned from the past -- if you elect people from the beginning, expose them to all the responsblities and whatsoever, then the organization will run well insyaAllah.. but hey, that's only my opinion... 'Allahualam...

Some of those candidates ideas were making sense. For example about the closeness among members and about going international. It is something to think about -- what's the point going oversea if not to widen our horizon AND what's the point of doing so if we, among Malaysians couldn't even look at each others' face. Why would we hate each other? Did you look at the world's map? we live on just a tiny piece of land. haiyaa...

gersang

astaghfirullah... astaghfirullah... astaghfirullah.... please give me the strength and peace Ya Allah... ameen

assalamualeikum wbt

went to the intercultural night at Union Theater earlier -- it's fantastic and quiet well-organized and let's face it, everyone not just malays isn't punctual.. heh. Thanks for the entertainment, I had wonderful time. I like the Taiwanees performance the most, it really reflects their background for example, the dance shows that they are culturally farmers and are very hrdworking. Next will be the indians because they played song I'm familiar with... I watched the movie on Ijan's computer before. Oh oh.. don't forget the Egyptian dancer, yep only one of them really are egyptian, others are americans. She really shaked the hall =) hehe...

Let me tell you one situation - let say you were physically and mentally abused by someone. After a while, you finally avoided your abuser but suddenly on one fine day, while you're in line for food, you saw your abuser and your body shaken, you're sweating like hell and your heart rate raising... what would you do? would you avoid the abuser or just pretend like nothing happen because you know he/she is incapable of abusing you in public?

Since Audrey Seiler's abduction was proven a hoax I tried to calm myself and become normal again. It was traumatic just TO HEAR about her abduction; I ran as quickly as I can everytime I got off the bus and always looked around like a thief while walking alone. She did put an impact on my life and somehow she played jokes on everyone. I hope she's mentally sick or else she's soooo mean.

do you know you could borrowed laptop from Memorial Infolab for 4 hours instead of just 2 hours? wow... I feel like I owned the laptop... hehe...

When I first read Hans Christian Andersen's stories I thought he was just like other contemporary writers who just wrote for money, but now as we're progressing thorugh his timeline, he did have the talent! He was capable of putting all issues in his stories, from gender, industrial revolution, marriage, love and other social issues. He put questions and sort of hints in his stories for us as readers to digest and contemplate with our own experiences. It's a fun process trying to guess what's on someone's mind but he did a good job sort of guiding readers to the answers.

Mak went to visit her cucu.. hehe... and mak went out with all her girlfriends to Pasar Tani and then stop by kedai Mak Ngah mee sup.. huhuhu... intresting! Pasar Tani kat Damak tu mmg byk jual barang2, mempelam RM1 saje sekilo.. mak beli 10 kilo, nak jual katenye... mak ngah belanja mak nasi lemak - when I went back for summer vacation last year, mak ngah belanja mee sup ngan milo ais gak.. hehe.. mak ngah kelate... comei lotei... sume polis suke makan kat kedai die.. depan pusat serenti jerantut... pelayan2 kedai die sumenye gewe2 kelate... mak ngah helps them a lot - harap2 tadek yg backstabbed mak ngah ... heh

"Barangsiapa yang mengerjakan amalan yang soleh lelaki mahupun wanita sedang ia seorang yang beriman maka mereka itu masuk ke dalam syurga dan mereka tidak dianiaya walau sedikitpun" An-Nisaa : 124

assalamualeikum wbt

I went to girlsmadison's halaqah on Saturday. We had nice discussion about lots of thing. It was beneficial to me and I believe it was to some others too. We did a discussion on surah Al-Masad. Here is the surah:

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

[1] Perish the hands of the Father of Flame! perish he!

[2] No profit to him from all his wealth, and all his gains!

[3] Burnt soon will he be in a Fire of blazing Flame!

[4] His wife shall carry the (crackling) wood; As fuel!

[5] A twisted rope of palm-leaf fibre round her (own) neck!

anyone remember, who is the individual talked about in this surah? Yes, he was Abu Lahab, Rasulullah's uncle. Well, what did he do, what did his wife do to Rasulullah? Learn this and more from al-Islam

Nadiah then asked about "the Table" -- which is surah Al- Maidah. Next about some books Farol read and about Abu Jahal. Everyone should attend this kind of discussion + we got to meet with our beloved friends =) alhamdulillah...

My mom definitely misses her granddaughter =) so, I secretly called my sis and asked her to let my mom babysit her daughter for few days... hehehe... she was suprised but happy! I'm happy for my family too...

There's a lot going on in Malaysia -- The "Program Khidmat Negara" whish was suppose to promote integrity and unity turns out with fights and other social problems; one student was beaten to death by his seniors because he did not let them borrowed his kettle; the opponents weren't satisfied with the election committees' ways of handling the election before and many more.

What's wrong with people? Why can't we all just make peace to each other. What's with the hatred? What's with the arrogancy? We need each other ALL THE TIME! How could you live out of other people's sorrow? Ya Allah... Kau ampunkanlah dosa-dosa kami, Kau bahagiakanlah kami, tenteramkanlah bumi kami, jauhkanlah kami dari malapetaka.. ameen

There's going to be intercultural night this Thursday. Looking forward to that =)

PETALING JAYA 2 April - Tindakan Jemaah Islamiah (JI) melakukan siri pengeboman termasuk di Bali, Indonesia yang mengorbankan 202 orang pada Oktober 2002 adalah berdasarkan `fatwa' Osama bin Laden yang menghendaki seluruh umat Islam membalas dendam terhadap orang Amerika.

Menurut bekas anggota JI, Mohd. Nasir Abas, rakyat Malaysia yang kini ditahan di Indonesia, tindakan itu ekoran orang Amerika telah menganiaya atau melakukan pembunuhan terhadap orang awam di mana sahaja.
"Dengan itu kita boleh membalas untuk membunuh orang awam Amerika di mana sahaja mereka berada, baik mereka bersenjata ataupun tidak, mereka itu pasukan tentera ataupun orang awam,'' katanya.

Mohd. Nasir, 35, mengaku bahawa fatwa Osama itu dibawa oleh Hambali (anggota JI yang ditahan di Thailand) dan Ketua Majlis Mujahidin Indonesia, Abu Bakar Bashir.

Beliau berkata atas rasional itulah, beberapa pengeboman dilakukan termasuk di pusat peranginan dan gereja di Indonesia.

Mohd. Nasir mendedahkan mengenai fatwa itu dalam wawancara pada program khas Pengakuan Empat Bekas Anggota Jemaah Islamiah terbitan TV3 malam ini.

Program sejam itu dikendalikan oleh pengacara TV3 iaitu Zainal Ariffin Ismail dan Kamaruddin Mape. Ia dirakam secara eksklusif di Indonesia pada pertengahan bulan lalu.

Tiga lagi bekas anggota JI yang ditemu bual ialah Jaafar Anwarul, 54, dan Amran Mansor, 40, kedua-duanya berasal dari Johor serta Shamsul Bahri Hussein, 38, dari Alor Star.

Mohd. Nasir dalam pengakuannya memberitahu, kegiatan JI telah menyimpang daripada ajaran Islam malah memerangkap ahli-ahlinya untuk patuh kepada pemimpin mereka dan taksub kepada organisasi itu.

``Penyimpangan-penyimpangan tersebut itu dilakukan oleh orang Islam sendiri yang menamakan diri mereka sebagai aktivis muslim iaitu Jemaah Islamiah.

``Kalau saya perincikan, antara lain, penyimpangan itu ialah memerangkap seseorang itu untuk patuh dan taksub kepada jemaah atau organisasi dengan alasan baiah (sumpah taat setia).

``Pada hal tidak ada syariat bahawa kita harus berbaiah untuk organisasi,'' katanya.

Justeru, Mohd. Nasir yang ditahan oleh pihak Indonesia April tahun lalu menyeru kesemua ahli-ahli JI supaya menghentikan perbuatan mereka yang melanggar syariat Allah.

``Kita hentikan hal-hal yang menyebabkan umat Islam menjadi terhina dan kita harus yakin JI bukanlah yang menjamin kebahagiaan kita di akhirat,'' jelasnya.

Malah, kata Mohd. Nasir yang pernah belajar di Akademi Militeri Mujahidin Afghanistan selama tiga tahun, beliau tidak bersetuju aksi-aksi pengeboman yang membabitkan kumpulan itu.

Dalam temu bual itu, beliau memberitahu, tindakan pengeboman yang mengorbankan orang awam sangat bertentangan dan dilarang oleh Islam.

Tambahnya, mangsa pengeboman di Hotel J.W. Marriott semuanya membabitkan orang Islam dan tidak ada orang bukan Islam yang terkorban.

``Antara yang melakukan itu ialah bekas murid saya, saya berasa sedih. Saya sedih dan berdosa kerana antara pengetahuan yang digunakan itu adalah datangnya daripada saya,'' katanya kesal.

Bapa kepada empat orang anak itu pernah menjalani latihan ketenteraan pada 1987 dan berjihad bersama Mujahidin Afghanistan sehingga tahun 1992.

Kepakaran beliau ialah dalam bidang strategi perang dan persenjataan.

Jaafar pula menegaskan, peristiwa-peristiwa pengeboman seperti di Bali pada 12 Oktober 2002 dan Hotel J.W. Marriott pada 5 Ogos 2003 sebenarnya telah mencemarkan nama baik Islam.

``Saya kecewa kerana sasaran JI ialah berperang di perbatasan seperti di Afghanistan dan bukan di tempat umum.'' ujarnya.

Jaafar mengambil kesempatan menyatakan hasratnya untuk balik ke pangkuan masyarakat menjadi seorang manusia yang boleh berbakti kepada agama, bangsa dan negara.

Shamsul Bahri pula tidak menyangka kumpulan JI menyimpang daripada pegangan agama seperti melakukan pengeboman.

``Saya sangat kecewa di atas apa yang telah terjadi, malah pemahaman yang bersifat kekerasan seperti ini tidak sepatutnya berlaku.

``Pemikiran seperti ini begitu mengelirukan kerana Islam agama yang cintakan damai serta kasih sayang,'' jelasnya.

Shamsul yang ditahan polis Indonesia pada 13 Ogos tahun lalu, adalah pensyarah di Universiti Teknologi Malaysia (UTM), Johor dan pernah mengikuti pengajian Ijazah Doktor Falsafah dalam bidang robotik.

Sementara itu, Amran yang pernah menghadiri pertemuan sulit bagi membincangkan cadangan meletupkan Pusat Kastam dan Imigresen di Woodlands, Singapura memberitahu, beliau sedar bahawa JI sebenarnya melalui `jalan yang keliru.'

Beliau yang juga dikenali sebagai Andi Saputra ditangkap di Pekan Solo, Jawa Tengah pada 12 Februari lalu kerana disyaki membekalkan bahan letupan dalam pengeboman Hotel J.W. Marriott, Jakarta.

``Sebenarnya saya tidak mengetahui kerana sasaran dalam operasi itu ditentukan oleh orang atasan seperti Hambali, Imam Samudera dan Muklas.

``Jadi peranan saya ialah untuk mengawal lojistik sahaja,'' jelasnya.

Pada akhir temu bual itu, Amran menasihatkan teman-teman yang masih merasakan bahawa JI itu benar, supaya mengkaji semula apakah ia sesuai mengikut al-Quran dan sunnah.

``Carilah pendapat ulama-ulama yang lain dan mereka juga tidak membenarkan kekerasan itu,'' tegasnya. == taken from www.utusan.com.my

assalamualeikum wbt

fuuhhh.. done with exams yesterday, another one coming up next week! I got in touch with Safinaz and Shazlin (gurls from Assunta school) recently. Safinaz is still who she was but prettier and shazlin is so not like her before, very attractive and elegant! ;-) miss ya'll....

wow... the forum didn't get as much attention as it should, less than 30 people attended but I was expecting this. The topic is so inconsistent with the students' mind here nevertheless whoever attended the forum that day did learn or relaern something... eh? Abang Di has made the topic more intresting by inserting few points on responsbilities both man and woman has in marriage. Yes, some scholars agree that men should do all the work and women should only prepare themselves for their husband in a household. But most of gender stereotype suggest that women should do all the houseworks and men provide money and made big decisions for the family.

Let it go sis! let it go! we want the best for you! we love you!

oh well, reading all others' testimonials on me made me think who I was back then. I don't really think of myself as THAT nerd back then and I absolutely do not know how to be part of a conversation especially with guys. Most of the time I'll just ended up yelling or screaming to them.. hehe.. I do miss all of my friends espcially those from my high school -- what years we had eh!? tears, laughters and all other things... it is hard to start over now when everyone has all plan ahead of them, in high we're just us! nothing else, kan? ohh... doraemon, come and give me your pocket so that I could go back to those precious time... hehe...

alhamdulillah... may Allah guides to the right path and not let us walk with ignorance and arrogance... ameen -- can't wait to hear from my mom about my boxes =)

assalamualeikum wbt ..

we were talking about relationship abuse and violence in class today and it made me thought about myself -- I AM in an abusive relationship! by relationship I think it doesn't just refer to intimate contact between two person but it could be anything.

I believe I am abused mentally until my performance in school drop tremendously. I found my experiences similar to the symptoms -- feeling inferior, blaming myself, feeling powerless, losing control and lots more. There are cycles that the victims go through in the relationship starting with tension building, then the abusing and end up with calm phase where the abuser would act with love, give gifts and responsible. But soon after, the cycle will continue again.

Help, I need help! get me out of this relationship! help!

If you don't vote, you have no right to complaint your government! you are so ignorance in the first place that you let others decide for you!

assalamualeikum wbt

hmm.. just got some info about allowance rate in univ. of minne - they actually receive the same amount as we here do! I hope they have enough to survive... thanks arra =)

I just knew about soccer tournament; it's a pre-midwest tournament and we are held responsible as the host. Arif just called to ask some ideas for their dinner and right away I thought about chicken rice! hehehe... theme food for madisonians hahaha...

welcome all! welcome! have a pleasant stay here! and good luck for the game!

I am responsible for two project at work now. Both are due soon and I haven't done with any! bad thing is, I hate to wotk with the big scanner down at the basement and so it makes me work slow. I wish this project was not there in the first place! hahaha...

We went to visit Kak Fairuz the other day and then went to Penang Restaurant in chicago, there're so many people and the food was great! I ate pasembor and ais kacang =) . We arrived home after midnight the same day.

Aseks, happy birthday! I hope your day be filled with joy and laughter! =)

ic ic... now I get it! bite me! it's about going to the cinema thingy... ayoooo... why bother? mind your own business la... hehe.. so funny you... we're all adults now! please...

hey, at least I don't take advantages on my friends! =)

assalamualeikum wbt

fuhhh... time for spring break! alhamdulillah... am going on a trip to Milwaukee tomorrow morning insyaAllah... though it's gonna be a very short trip but I bet it will be lotsa fun and beneficial =)

ayookkk lin, can't make it to RPI la this break! sori tau.. what about fall break? yeh? huhuhu... I stood you up before, but please don't do the same to me eh? it's really out of my conscience before, without any intention. Luv u bebeh! hehe...

I ate a lot today, japan dish, subway, instant noodles, and finally dave's girl scout's cookies. The cookies taste so good, no wonder they managed to sell whole lot of them =) can I get another one? hehehehe...

Since there're only half of the students attended my lit class today, my prof decided to have a discussion about the 18-19th centuries society. He was emphasizing on patriarchal society that women lived in during the time. Did it repeat itself? Do the present people have the tools in building a relationship? if they do, why are there single mothers and why people keep get involve in 'bad' relationship? what is missing here? does the equality bring any good outcomes? hmm...

well, equality is not just giving two person the same thing, but to satisfy both needs equally. For example, my sponsor gives me different allowance than those people in NY, Minne and other main cities because they live in high cost living area while I live in less one. BUT as time passes, the cities that I live in are expecting more money from me and so my sponsor SHOULD increase my allowance to satisfy my need, right?
Well, this hasn't yet happen but I have hope that it will =)

HCA went on a visit to the orient (in 19th centuries orient was Turkey and some other neighboring countries) and he saw those sufism practicer performing their prayer, circling around in one place until they sank down to the earth. Intresting....

may Allah bless us all... ameen